Everything has its silver lining, right? Right?! Since it’s Eczema Awareness Month and we’re all meant to be #exposingeczema, I thought I’d share a few of the advantages that severe eczema can bring.
Being a trendsetter.
No one in their youth would honestly pride themselves on wearing only 100% cotton. But you’re different. You’re ahead of the crowd. You’re bringing frumpy back. People look at you in admiration of your dedication to the cause, if nothing else.
No one in their youth would honestly pride themselves on wearing only 100% cotton. But you’re different. You’re ahead of the crowd. You’re bringing frumpy back. People look at you in admiration of your dedication to the cause, if nothing else.
Extra space on public transport.
You know when you sit on a packed train and have to pretend that your thunder thighs can’t fit on one seat just to stop someone squidging in next to you and suffocating you with their blanket of body odour? Yeah, that’s not a problem anymore. People would rather stand than risk being infected with your non-communicable disease.
You know when you sit on a packed train and have to pretend that your thunder thighs can’t fit on one seat just to stop someone squidging in next to you and suffocating you with their blanket of body odour? Yeah, that’s not a problem anymore. People would rather stand than risk being infected with your non-communicable disease.
Increased flexibility.
There is not an inch of your back that you cannot reach to scratch.
There is not an inch of your back that you cannot reach to scratch.
Saving on gym memberships.
Who needs to spend £50 a month on treadmill time when you can spend 24 hours a day scratching and wriggling for free? Plus, with all the nausea from those awful super-itches you won’t be eating much anyway, so say hello to the least beach-ready bikini body of your life!
Who needs to spend £50 a month on treadmill time when you can spend 24 hours a day scratching and wriggling for free? Plus, with all the nausea from those awful super-itches you won’t be eating much anyway, so say hello to the least beach-ready bikini body of your life!
It pays to be a rubbish cook.
You’re too scared to eat anything but plain rice and chicken, and burning that is one of the few ways to actually give it flavour.
You’re too scared to eat anything but plain rice and chicken, and burning that is one of the few ways to actually give it flavour.
You’re a philosophical genius.
Now that you have an extra 5-6 waking hours a night, you have significantly more time than your peers to debate the meaning of life (in between screaming at your skin to stop being itchy, of course).
Now that you have an extra 5-6 waking hours a night, you have significantly more time than your peers to debate the meaning of life (in between screaming at your skin to stop being itchy, of course).
It doesn’t take long to brush your hair.
Because, well, there’s now a lot less of it.
Because, well, there’s now a lot less of it.
You have the patience of a saint.
Resisting the urge to cause serious bodily harm to the random people asking if you’ve ever tried E45 before or to your loved ones who are constantly telling you to stop scratching has given you the self-control (perhaps ironic for a chronic itcher) of a hungry vegetarian trapped in a burger van.
Resisting the urge to cause serious bodily harm to the random people asking if you’ve ever tried E45 before or to your loved ones who are constantly telling you to stop scratching has given you the self-control (perhaps ironic for a chronic itcher) of a hungry vegetarian trapped in a burger van.
No awkward silences.
Once you eventually summon the courage to speak to another human being in real life, you never run out of things to talk about because you could literally discuss your skin for months without pause.
Once you eventually summon the courage to speak to another human being in real life, you never run out of things to talk about because you could literally discuss your skin for months without pause.
You know who your real friends are.
Those who do not get bored of you talking about your skin or wash their chairs down after you’ve sat on them are probably worth keeping close.
Those who do not get bored of you talking about your skin or wash their chairs down after you’ve sat on them are probably worth keeping close.
You get to spend whole days in bed.
Just a shame it’s by pain and not because you fancied watching the whole of Gossip Girl Season 1 just one more time…
Just a shame it’s by pain and not because you fancied watching the whole of Gossip Girl Season 1 just one more time…
You’re helping the planet.
Being so scared of the pain of water that you avoid showers as much as possible is great for Mother Nature!
Being so scared of the pain of water that you avoid showers as much as possible is great for Mother Nature!
You’ve become a self-taught make-up artist.
Eyes swollen to a different shape and size? No problem, eyeliner to the rescue! No eyebrows? The brow pencil is your friend! I’m still not entirely sure how I managed it, but this photo was taken during one of my biggest flares:
Eyes swollen to a different shape and size? No problem, eyeliner to the rescue! No eyebrows? The brow pencil is your friend! I’m still not entirely sure how I managed it, but this photo was taken during one of my biggest flares:
Less risk of being hit by a bus.
For the sole reason that you avoid leaving the house unless contractually-bound by your employer… Or to buy more medicine.
For the sole reason that you avoid leaving the house unless contractually-bound by your employer… Or to buy more medicine.
Your pockets are no longer heavy.
Remember when you used to walk down the street and feel weighed down by all the cash in your wallet? Worry no more, continuous prescriptions from an exhausted GP and all-natural scams posting fake before-and-afters have taken care of that!
Remember when you used to walk down the street and feel weighed down by all the cash in your wallet? Worry no more, continuous prescriptions from an exhausted GP and all-natural scams posting fake before-and-afters have taken care of that!
You get all the attention.
If you love turning heads, maybe eczema is the ailment for you! A severe facial eczema-sufferer isn’t able to go 5 metres without someone stopping to stare, so suddenly Britney Spears’ public breakdown seems an awful lot more relatable.
If you love turning heads, maybe eczema is the ailment for you! A severe facial eczema-sufferer isn’t able to go 5 metres without someone stopping to stare, so suddenly Britney Spears’ public breakdown seems an awful lot more relatable.
You go, girl.
0 comments:
Post a Comment